


The New Temp

by MrHouse2281



Category: Helluva Boss (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:13:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29235117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrHouse2281/pseuds/MrHouse2281
Summary: Desperate to escape the never-ending fights between her parents and looking to develop skills, Octavia decides to try working for her father's favorite imp. What will daddy Stolas think of his daughter's decisions? What would her mother think about her little girl actually working for her money? And what will Loona think about having another surly, sarcastic girl in the office?
Relationships: Millie/Moxxie (Helluva Boss), Octavia Goetia/Loona
Comments: 278
Kudos: 156





	1. Dropping In

**Author's Note:**

> Had this idea after seeing Episode 3 of "Helluva Boss" and I just had to take it for a spin. Please give me your thoughts in the comment section.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At her wits end concerning the depressing environment pervading her home, Stolas's daughter takes drastic action!

Goetia Manor

Octavia needed to go somewhere. Anywhere. Her parent’s arguments were becoming too much for her to handle. The bond she healed with her father at Loo Loo Land drove her to try and intervene on his behalf but her mother wouldn’t hear it. The servants sought shelter wherever they could when the fights broke out. On more than one occasion, Octavia let them hide in her room until the storm passed. This earned her their gratitude and she found her requests met with a noticeable increase in speed.

But the fight that was going on that night was worse than any other. Her mother’s shrieking was punctuated by breaking dishes. Her father tried to calm her down, but he was shot down. Weary and desperate, Octavia felt something snap inside her and she started crying. She reached for a pen and paper and began writing a message for him to find. 

_I’m sorry dad_ she thought to herself _I just can’t be here right now._

After writing her note, she packed a go-bag with clothes, hygiene supplies, a blanket and her laptop.

Before slipping out of her family’s manor, she ran through a list of possible destinations in her mind. None of the stores she frequented would be open and she didn’t have many friends, much less ones that would put her up for a while.

That’s when an odd idea came to her mind. She didn’t quite know how to get _there_ but she’d only need a few minutes to find out how.

Those who usually used the building wouldn’t exactly be happy to see her. She was certain of that. But she’d make her case as best she could.

She was pretty sure she could get _him_ to bend to her will. Granted she wasn’t going to do any of the things her father did with the loudmouthed imp but she had enough confidence in her negotiation skills.

Octavia took one last look at her room. The clock said it was getting close to midnight. Her parents would be asleep by then. If she was quick, she could make her way to where she needed to be and get in plenty of sleep before ‘they’ showed up.

Later, the next morning

IMP Headquarters Building

“Did you see the look that the barista was giving me?!” Blizto asked angrily as the group walked into the elevator. “It looked like he wanted to rip out my liver and wear it as a fucking hat!”

Moxxie sighed. “Sir, people working minimum wage usually hate it when you hold out money for a tip and pull your hand back at the last second. And besides, we made more than enough money during spring break for you to actually give a decent tip.”

“C’mon, Mox!” his wife cooed. “Dontcha love seein the hope drain from their faces when you stiff em’?”

Blitzo snapped his fingers at Milly.

“Your missus knows where it’s at, Mox. Get with the program. Nothing helps you get on the right foot in the morning like a little sadism before work.” 

“Is that why you point at those hobos and laugh every couple of days?” Loona asked biting into her breakfast sub.

“You’re right on point, Loonie.”

The IMP crew stepped out of the elevator and into their office, with Blitzo reaching for the light switch. As the room became illuminated, their chatter died down upon noticing that something seemed off. It could’ve been the fact that Blitzo’s eels seemed to have been fed already. They usually didn't get breakfast until the group showed up. 

Then again, it could’ve been the teenage owl girl sitting on the couch and staring at them. 

“Oh no,” Blitzo said, shaking his head. “You can run off and tell your dad that he ‘paid’ two months ago for us body-guarding him!” Loona growled in disgust at her stepfather's choice of words.

“First of all, ew,” Octavia said, getting her hair out of her eyes. “Second of all, I’m not here for my father. I’m here for myself.”

Blitzo stood still for a moment before inching his way back to the elevator.

"Not for that." Octavia said flatly. "I'm here on business." 

Moxxie twiddled his thumbs as Blitzo let out a sigh of relief. 

“Miss Goetia, we at IMP usually deal with demons who have unfinished business. We kill off enemies of theirs that are still in the world of the living. Seeing as you were born in Hell, I don’t quite think we’d be able to help you off anyone who’s inconvenienced you. At least I don't think you have any enemies we could help you get rid of.”

The owl demon sighed. 

“I don’t want you to work for me, I want to...work with you.”

The quartet blinked at each other in surprise.

“You wanna work here?” Millie asked, perplexed. “Ain’t your family like giga-rich or something?”

Octavia’s face turned downcast.

“They are. And they’re also fighting so much that home doesn’t feel like home anymore. I feel like I’ll wither if I stay there too long. I need to do something else. Make something of myself. Develop some skills. Anything.”

A few tears started falling from Octavia’s eyes. Moxie, Millie and Loona turned to their boss who was nervously looking from one employee to the other.

“Uh, what’s with the glares?”

“C’mon Blitz, give her a chance.” Millie begged. “Ya can’t just say no to a girl who needs a place to go!” She was going full puppy eyes.

Moxxie fidgeted with his tie. 

“We do have the budget to pay her, sir. And there’s still a number of staff positions we don’t have filled yet. We could see which job best suits her.”

Blitzo looked up at Loona, whose tail was wagging nervously.

“Loonie? What do you think?”

The hellhound shrugged.

“What’ve we got to lose if we say yes? Isn’t bird-brain gonna be more pissed that we gave his daughter a flat no without even thinking it over? I mean, it'd be nice having someone to talk to while you and the dweebs go hunting.”

Octavia didn’t seem to react to Loona’s choice of words, much to Moxxie’s relief. Though he was a bit miffed at being called a dweeb.

Blitzo sighed.

“Alright. We’ll give you an evaluation. Moxxie and Milly will ask you some questions regarding your skillset and we’ll put together a few tests.”

The owl girl nodded.

“One question though.” said Blitzo. “How long were you here?”

“Since 1 am.”

Octavia scratched her hair, her face turning slightly red from the odd looks being sent her way.

“I, uh, I slept here.”

The group was silent for a second before Blitzo pointed at the elevator door.

“OK, first order of business, you’re going to the gym across the street to take a shower.”

Meanwhile,

Goetia Manor

Stolas needed to read his daughter’s message three times before putting it down. The first to find out where Octavia’d gone. The second to make sure he was wasn’t hallucinating. The third to finally understand what had pushed his little owlette to do something like this. Its words were burned into his mind.

Father,

I can’t lie to you on this. What’s going on between you and Mother hurts to just be around. It’s the definition of toxic. I can barely remember when you two actually enjoyed each other’s company. I can’t stay here for so long every day. I need to build myself up into something I can be proud of. 

So I’ve headed over to IMP to try and get a job with them. With any luck, I’ll have an answer by the time I come back.

I know it’s weird to go to them. But they aren’t my only option and we’ve at least got something of a history with them. 

And no matter what, I’ll always be your little owlette. What we shared at Loo Loo Land two months ago still has meaning. I’ll be back every evening for supper and we’ll still see each other at breakfast. I just...need to be somewhere else during the day. 

Yours,

Octavia

Stolas looked out the window and sighed. He did his best to make the manor a place Octavia could call home. Despite his efforts, which she acknowledged, it was not quite enough. But she bore him no ill will toward him. This was no last goodbye. Octavia felt she needed a change of scenery.

He felt pride bubbling up within him. Octavia recognized she needed a healthier environment in the daytime and took the initiative to find herself employment. Despite the lifestyle she was accustomed to, she wasn’t just going to wait for opportunities to fall into her lap.

He eagerly awaited her return. Now he just needed to find a way to break the news to Stella.

  
  



	2. New Hire Evaluation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The IMP crew gets a taste of what Octavia has to offer. Later, she comes home to who parents, only one of whom is eager to hear how her job hunt went.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to say that I appreciate how well the first chapter was received. It wasn't quite as long as what I wanted to put out but I've been recovering from a sinus infection and the side effects of my medication made writing a bit difficult. I'm feeling better now though.

Later that morning,

Meeting room, IMP Headquarters

Moxxie shuffled the papers in front of him and Octavia, trying not to get too carried away by the lingering scent of the soap she used at the gym. The room smelled like citrus.

“First question; what abilities do you have?”

Octavia turned to look at a bird perched near the window. Her eyes suddenly flared red and the bird let loose with a strangled squawk before stone seemed to start creeping up its body from the feet. It was little more than a statue only two seconds after Octavia turned to face it. Moxxie stared at the display before jotting something down on the paper in front of him.

“Petrification. That’s a big mark in your favor. Your school transcripts were promising. Belphegor Academy, was it?”

Octavia nodded.

“I noticed that you graduated high school one year earlier than usual. Could you explain why?”

“I was part of the accelerated learning program. Part of it was because I wanted the challenge but partially because my mother expected a lot from me. If you made the cut, you left a year early.”

Moxxie tapped his chin with his pen. “I might need some paperwork for that.” Octavia nodded.

“I couldn’t help but notice how high your math grades were. I’m guessing it was a favorite topic of yours?”

“Math isn’t like work to me. It’s like putting together a puzzle. Every part of an equation is its own separate piece. The overall picture only makes sense if all the pieces fit together.”

Moxxie gave a faint ‘hmmm’ and jotted something else down. “What would you think of an accounting job?”

“Sounds interesting but isn’t that something your boss does?”

Moxxie’s face morphed into the expression one would have after sucking on a lemon.

“It...is. But he’s not the best at it.”

Octavia leaned closer. Sure, she hadn’t spent much time around IMP’s CEO but he didn’t do anything during that one encounter to give her the impression that he was a genius. The awkwardly worded billboard advertising the company’s services was proof of that.

“He hasn’t forgotten to pay you and the others, has he?”

The demon shook his head, flustered.

“No, his work just needs...checking is all.”

“I could do that.”

Moxxie puckered his lips before sighing.

“We could take that up with Blitzo, sure. Are there any weapons you have experience with?”

“I’ve gotten the hang of using knives when I was pretty young. I can’t make my feathers into razors like my father can though.”

Moxxie’s eyebrows lifted.

“He can do that?”

“Yeah, he uses them as throwing knives sometimes.”

Moxxie whistled. “Why was it that he hired us to watch the two of you at that theme park?”

Octavia shrugged.

“He wanted you to run interference on anyone that got in the way of him spending time with me. That’s how I see it.”

Moxxie didn’t respond to her remark, simply saying he was going to tell Blitzo about how the interview was going and when he’d reach a decision. Octavia started browsing the web on her phone after he left and she was about to check her texts when the door flew open. Blitzo slinked into the room with Moxxie in tow.

“So! Moxxie gave me the rundown of what you’ve got to offer. Now, the accounting job is open but the question is…” He all of a sudden moved a lot closer to her, being merely a few inches from her face.

“Do you want it? Do you really want it?”

“Yes.”

He leaned slightly closer.

“Reaallllyyyy?”

“I want to show you what I can do, Blitzo.”

He gave her a shark toothed grin and shook her hand in a vice like grip.

“Octavia Goetia, welcome to IMP!”

later,

Break room,

Octavia dug into the ham sandwich she got on the way to the office when the office’s resident married couple came through the door.

“Hiyah!” exclaimed Milly. “How’s the newest member of the crew doin’?”

Octavia smiled.

“Little nervous, pretty excited. It’s a mix.”

“Aw, you’ll settle in just fine.”

“Is there anything else you wanted to know?” Moxxie asked.

Octavia thought for a moment before she remembered something she saw on the way to the meeting room. It was a little portrait of Moxxie but he looked like he was in agony.

“Why does your employee of the month photo look like you’re having a stroke?”

The Imp’s face darkened and he began grumbling to himself. The female Imp rubbed her hand on his desk.

“Loona poked him in the butt with a thumbtack right when Blitz took the picture.” Mille said.

The Hellhound in question walked in and headed for the refrigerator, pulling out a brown paper bag.

“If it’s any consolation, Mox, the noise you made was majestic.”

Moxxie shot her a dark look. The owl girl couldn’t contain her curiosity.

“What’d he sound like?” Octavia asked. Loona put the bag down on the table before suddenly making herself go stiff and letting out a noise that sounded like “DEUUUEAUGH!*” The owl-demon almost fell out of her chair laughing. Loona smiled and took a seat next to her, digging some beef out of it.

“So you’re our new bookie right?”

“Something like that. I’m going to be looking over some of Blitzo’s paperwork later to make sure the math’s done right. Moxxie thinks I’m going to have my work cut out for me.”

Loona seemed a bit uneasy.

“It never hurts to have another set of eyes.”

“Is he really that bad with money? Moxxie seemed pretty nervous too.”

The Hellhound looked over at the married couple, trying to get some signal of approval from them.

“Well...we’ve had a few close calls when the rent for the office came due. We’re just a start up after all.”

Octavia was lost in thought as she ate. Now she really wanted to see how the company was keeping track of its money.

That evening,

Study, Stolas’s Manor

“So dear,” Stella said leaning back into an armchair. “How was your day out among the plebians. You were in quite a hurry last night to make it to where they gather, after all.”

“Not all that bad.” Octavia said. She hated when her mother used that word. Sure, both women were born into a very wealthy background but Octavia never felt that she was somehow insulated from the rest of Hell because of it. Her father wasn’t entirely innocent of having such notions but he was much less stuck up about it.

“You’re getting along with your new co-workers I take it,” Stolis asked.

“I doubt I’ll get bored, at the very least.”

Her father smirked.

“Ah yes, excitement does seem to follow Blitzie wherever he goes, doesn’t it?”

Stella shot him a dark look. Octavia couldn’t entirely disagree given what happened at Loo Loo Land. But her father promised to not talk like that around her. His smirk vanished.

“My apologies. So what’re your duties at IMP.”

When Octavia answered, even her mother seemed slightly interested.

“I haven’t seen all the accounting papers they have yet but Blitzo could be doing a much better job organizing it.”  
“I look forward to hearing that you’ve straightened them out, Octavia.” Stella said quietly. The younger Goetia girl left after ten more minutes of questioning. When she went to bed that night, she found herself oddly anticipating the next morning.

readers note:

For those of you needing an approximation for the noise Moxxie was supposed to have made the moment his "Employee of the Month" picture was taken, think of the fish in the movie theatre that smells Spongebob's breath in the episode "Something Smells." The one who's a meme template.


	3. first day on the job

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octavia makes a surprising discovery during her first day on the job. Sometime after, she and Loona have a personal discussion over lunch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to say that I'm blown away by how much you all seem to like this story. At some point, I might write a chapter explaining how I got the idea for this story in the first place.

The next morning,

IMP Van

Octavia double checked to make sure her coffee was securely in the cupholder. Her new co-workers seemed a bit more used to Blitzo’s driving style than she was. She was a bit surprised to see Blitzo’s van in front of the manor ten minutes ago, given that Blitzo didn’t say he’d be taking her to work, but got over it pretty quickly.

Her father, thankfully, didn’t feel like saying hi to Blitzo before she left. Instead, he gave her a hug and wished her a good first day of work. Moxxie, Milly and even Loona were stunned by the size of her house.

The owl-demon was looking out the window when a question came to her mind.

“Are there any other companies that provide our services?” Octavia asked. The other four occupants of the van looked at her with faint surprise. Her new boss scratched the back of its head.

“There are, but they’re all startups like ours.” Blitzo said. 

Octavia cocked her head, perplexed. Given what she knew about human nature, about how so many of Hell’s new arrivals had people they wanted to stick it to, the line of business IMP was a part of was one that would never diminish or know hard times. The demand needed to sustain it would always be there. At least, from the way she saw it.

Why wouldn’t there be companies that provided assassination services that’d been around for decades? Centuries even?

“What was there before the other assassination startups?”

Blitzo tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, as they pulled up to a red light.

“Well, before us and the other startups, the assassination industry was dominated by three companies: Vendetta Solutions, Carnage Incorperated and…” Blitzo tapped his foot for a few seconds.

“Oh yeah! Homicide Ltd. Those three pretty much owned the ‘murder for hire’ industry for centuries. All of them had these massive, ‘fuck off’ buildings for their headquarters. Couldn’t miss em if you tried. Anyone else who tried to make a name for themselves in the industry got squeezed out like that.” He snapped his fingers. “IMP wouldn’t have lasted a week if those three were still around.”

“What happened to them?” Octavia asked.

“What year is it?” Blitzo responded.

“2021.”

“Oh yeah! Well, around thirty years ago the human population hit a massive milestone. I mean, it was already starting to climb pretty fast but it hit a new record around then. The number of new arrivals in Hell with an axe to grind spiked too. The big three weren’t prepared to deal with the amount of demand. Not enough assassins to go around, they were losing clients too quickly, they had no idea how to handle such a big influx.”

Blitzo held up his hand for a second as the van got into the freeway.

“They were the only game in town for hundreds of years. But it wasn’t until three decades ago that they bit off more than they could chew and choked.”

“And the startups emerged?” asked Octavia.

“Yep!” chimed Milly. “They left a pretty big power vacuum and everyone who wanted to make money maken’ people dead finally got their chance.”

“There’s so many potential customers that we don’t need to be at each other’s throats.” Moxie explained. “Each company gets all the business they need in order to survive.”

“How long ago did the big three fold?”

“You’re seventeen, right?” Blitzo asked.

“Seventeen and three quarters but yes.”

“Yeah, they fell apart not long before yours and Loona’s generation were born. Me, M&M and others our age were pretty young when it happened. I didn’t start IMP till around four years ago.”

“Moxxie and I joined two years after Blitzo set up shop,” Millie added. “Loona was already workin’ there when we started.”

Octavia looked at Blitzo wide eyed.

“So...you were the only assassin at IMP until Moxxie and Millie showed up?”

“Damn right! It wasn’t easy but I made it work.”

Octavia didn’t continue with her questions. She was still processing Blitzo’s answer. She was under no impressions about their line of work being in any way easy. Octavia remembered a warning her father gave her about conflating age with weakness.

“There are trades where people tend to die young. Should you find any elders in such lines of work, don’t provoke them..”

If Blitzo was able to be his company’s only hitman for two years straight, he was not someone to push around.

Half an hour later,

IMP Headquarters

Octavia’s eyes narrowed as she looked at the papers in front of her. Some of the payment calculations didn’t add up. The amount of money in the corporate account seemed strangely small for what they were pulling in.

Peering further down, she found what she believed to be the cause. It looked like Blitzo made an error when calculating the amount of money made during a day when IMP had carried out a large number of assassinations within a ten hour period. The date showed that the money was earned only a few days before she joined.*

She fixed the error, added up the new total and her jaw dropped. IMP had far more money than it appeared at first glance. Factoring in what her father had paid in exchange for bodyguard duty at Loo Loo Land and a huge amount of cash being earned a few days before before she joined, IMP was three quarters of a million vexes* richer than they originally believed. 

And that was even factoring in what they were paying for rent and the van!

She shot out of her desk so quickly that she startled Loona, who was in the middle of cleaning the dirt from her nails.

“What’s wrong?”

Octavia struggled to put the words together.

“Nothing. Something’s actually gone very right.”

The Hellhound cocked her head and Octavia showed her the discrepancy she discovered in the accounting papers. Loona’s crimson eyes bulged when she reached the bottom of the paper.

“Come with me. Blitzo and the others gotta hear about this.”

She clasped Octavia’s wrist and made their way to Blitzo’s office. Octavia was briefly startled by how warm Loona’s paw was. How soft her palm was. She didn’t even notice that the two were now standing in front of a perplexed Blitzo. It looked like they caught him in the middle of shining his Moxxie and Milly bobbleheads. Octavia was struck by how happy go lucky Moxxie’s bobblehead looked. 

“Uh, what’s going on, do we have a new client or something?”

“Octavia found out we’re hella richer than we thought,” Loona said firmly. Blitzo blinked before reaching into his desk for a loudspeaker and gesturing for the two to step aside.

“M&M, get your asses in here! The new hire’s found something!”

The married couple zipped into the room within seconds, both of them confused as to whether they were summoned for something good or bad.

“Show em’ what you got, Octavia.” Blitzo said, leaning back into his chair. She passed the paper to the two imps, who gasped when they got to the most important part of it. 

“Sir, if this is true, we can afford an actual billboard!” Moxxie said excitedly.

“Mox, the billboard we have right now works just fine*!” Blitzo yelled defensively.

“Just fine? I’ve heard schoolchildren pointing at it and laughing, sir! The least we can do is make it a little less...unintentionally suggestive."

It took Octavia a second to realize what he was talking about but all of a sudden the image of Blitzo’s face with white text superimposed on it came to mind. She saw it on the way to IMP’s HQ the night she left her house and she was in awe of how childish the billboard looked. 

“OK, we’ll look into some minor corrections. Minor corrections!”

Millie jumped with joy and grabbed her husband by the shoulders.

“Dontcha know what this means, Mox?! We can go to Dis* this year!”

Moxxie pulled her close and kissed her, eliciting a quiet gag from Loona. Seconds later, Octavia felt something wrapping around her waist. She looked down and saw that Millie was hugging her. Though a bit surprised, the owl-demon smiled back at her.

“I knew you’d do ok.” the female imp said.

“Thank you.”

A few hours later,

Nero’s Italian, IMP City 

Loona took a bite out of her steak while Octavia savored the aroma of her shrimp and fingers pasta.

“Do you usually go here for lunch?” she asked Loona.

“Every once in awhile. Sometimes I go here when I want to be alone because the atmosphere at the office gets a bit too energetic. But I kind of wanted to talk to you a bit.”

“About what?”

Loona grimaced a little.

“Look, I haven’t known you all that long but you really don’t act like some airheaded rich girl. I knew about how loaded your father was for quite a while. Blitzo told me how big your house was when he told me how he got the book we use to get to the human world. We’ve dealt with other ‘upper class’ clients and they were pretty full of themselves. But you’re a breath of fresh air.”

Octavia shuffled awkwardly. She didn’t meet Blitzo until the fateful trip to Loo Loo Land but she’d known of him for little over a year beforehand. Loona seemed to have picked up on her unease.

“Sorry if I made you uncomfortable. What I was trying to say was that you don’t look down on me or any of the others. You don’t act like you’re better than us.”

“I spent enough time around people who acted like that to know my last name doesn’t make me hot shit.”

Loona raised her eyebrows as she took another bite of her food.

“The Belphegor Academy’s a private school for the children of those higher on Hell’s food chain. My classmates were from families that weren’t as strong as mine and only one or two came from families that were as strong. What I hated most wasn’t the work, it was the people around me. Apart from a small circle of friends I couldn’t stand my classmates. Every hobby they had, every cool new gadget they had, all their tastes had to reflect the fact that they were above the ‘commoners’.”

Octavia took another bite of her pasta.

“Imagine being surrounded by people whose first concern with developing any kind of interest is ‘will this set me apart from the plebs?’ It’s an environment where the need to prove one’s worth in the upper classes dwarfs curiosity and a desire for self exploration. I hated that environment and I hated the people who thrived in it. The ones who looked down on others for having interests that were too accessible by those of lower class.”

Loona grimaced.

“So it was a school full of stuck up, trust fund kids, huh?”

“With the exception of a few people, yes. But oddly enough, I’m glad I got the chance to see how stuck up they were. What I saw made me so nauseous that it taught me a very valuable lesson in humility. I promised myself that I’d never be like them.”

Loona grinned. “I’d say you took that lesson to heart wouldn’t you say?”

Octavia smiled back, being only dimly aware of her heart slightly picking up speed. The two resumed eating in silence for a while. When Octavia finished, Loona’s phone started beeping and she pulled it out, sighing when she saw whatever the message was.

“We’d better head back. C’mon.”

Octavia nodded and followed her out. For reasons she couldn’t quite understand, she couldn’t take her eyes off of Loona’s hips as she walked.

Readers notes:

1\. The period in which IMP suddenly earned a huge amount of money takes place during the episode “Spring Broken.”

2\. Vexes are what I’d imagine the money in Hell is called. I got the idea from a manga series I read around ten years ago but I can’t remember the name of it. The premise, for those interested, has to do with sinners in Hell being paid for undergoing torture and they have a specific demon assigned to them. 

3\. For those of you wondering what I’m referencing, IMP has a billboard right outside its HQ that’s got horrible grammar and spelling as well as a bunch of innuendos. 

4\. Dis is a city located in Hell according to Dante’s Divine Comedy.

  
  



	4. Close Encounters of the Neckbeard Kind!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The IMP crew takes on a job by a member of our favorite subset of arrogant, foul-smelling, anime-loving pseudo-intellectuals!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to thank all the commenters who pointed out discrepancies and typos. They've given me a better idea of what to look out for.
> 
> Also, I'd like to thank those who posited their ideas on how the story can develop. A lot of them have merit and I'm weighing which ones to use in the future.

Meeting Room

The way Octavia understood it, those who died and went to Hell weren’t guaranteed to look the way they did in life. Blitzo had shown her a picture of a previous client by the name of Mrs. Mayberry as well as how she was supposed to look during her life on Earth. The degree to which a sinner resembled their human appearance was pretty much a throw of the dice. 

But if she had to guess, their current client looked the exact same as he did while human with the exception of red skin and some small horns. The man currently sitting in front of the IMP crew was morbidly obese with small piggy eyes, cargo pants, a pitiful stubble and a fedora. The sinner, who called himself Eugene Prescott, smelled like a mixture of stale sweat and cheese snacks. 

Worst of all, he had a habit of slurping either saliva or mucus in the middle of talking. It sounded like someone trying to vacuum out a jar of mayonnaise.

Blitzo’s eyes were rapidly twitching 

“Lozenges, mother fucker! Do you use them?!”

Eugene put up his hands.

“My apologies,” he said in a reedy voice that contained no small amount of self importance. 

“As I was saying, I was considered to be a leader amongst my fellows. I had the biggest collection of anime figures, comics and obscure science fiction movies.”

“Did these fellows look like meat planets too?” Loona asked. Milton turned to face her with narrowed eyes.

“For your information, our huskiness belied our superior intellects! The commonality of such shallow thinking is why I and many of my fellows withdrew from interaction with women.”

“I’m stunned.” Millie said in a deadpan voice.

“How did he die anyway?” Moxxie asked. Loona looked at his entry papers on a clipboard. 

“Cardiac arrest after eating at the Heart Attack Grill, specifically the Quadruple Bypass Burger.” 

Eugene sighed. 

“I embarked on a test on my endurace, and I failed.” He let out another loud snort that made Octavia clutch the arms of her chair in a death grip.

  
  


“Anyway, your target is a man named Brendan Hogan.” Eugene brought out a picture of a young man with a slightly slimmer frame than his in a black hoodie. The guy had a shaky grin and an unruly mop of red hair.

“So,what’d he do?” Blitzo asked, lighting a cigar. Eugene's face scrunched up.

“Until he came along, I was the unchallenged leader of my group. My word was final in person, on XBOX Live and on the forums. But Brendan never knew his place. He doubted my skills as a gamer, he questioned my right to be admin on the forums my group frequented and he had the gall to suggest I wasn’t the intellectual I thought he was.”

“So what, you want us to make sure he doesn’t take charge of your group?” Octavia asked. The neckbeard spun around to face her. As far as she knew, this was the first time he’d heard her speak.

“I must say, ma’am, that you’re the first cultured lady I’ve met since my arrival in Hell.” He tipped his fedora. Everyone else in the room cringed.

“Thanks.” Octavia slowly replied. 

“You are also very much correct. It wouldn’t matter to me if my group went their separate ways after my passing. But I will not allow them to gather under the leadership of such a craven usurper. Better for an empire to fall than be inherited by the unworthy.”

The entire group cringed again. The guy was an absolute control freak on top of being a pretentious, self absorbed dweeb.

Blitzo put his hands up in resignation.

“Fine, we’ll get the guy as long as the money’s good.”

Eugene smiled, an act that revealed that he possessed more than two chins.

“I look forward to hearing of your success.” He then lifted himself out of the chair and left the room.

Octavia awkwardly raised her hand.

“Hey, do you mind if I tag along on this one?” 

Blitzo’s eyes narrowed. 

“Octavia, if this were another client, I would! But you heard how he talked to you when he heard your voice! Have you any idea the kind of degenerates that guy would’ve surrounded himself with?!” 

The group then turned to glare at the readers, their faces showing nothing but the purest contempt.*

“If one of those blubbery losers lays a hand on you and Stolas finds out, I’m gonna be the main course on your parent’s next dinner date!” 

Octavia was about to give a retort but it died in her throat. If there was one thing that would make her parents bury the hatchet, even for a little while, it would be their rage at whoever laid a hand on her and whoever it was that allowed it to happen. 

“Ok, point taken. But will you let me go one the next one?”

“Fine. You’ll be in on the next one. M&M, get your asses into gear! We’re heading out in five”

The married couple started gathering their weapons along with Blitzo, while Loona and Octavia went back to their desks.

None of them knew that their client was still in the building, his ear pressed against the door.

A few minutes later, 

Brendan’s House

The scene that the three Imps beheld upon arriving in the human world was one of absolute squalor. There were three trash bins overflowing with take out boxes, cups of instant ramen and who knew what else. An aroma of expired food permeated the air to the extent that they could almost touch it. The floor was covered in food crumbs and garbage. Moxxie almost walked into a tower of empty pizza boxes seconds after they arrived and Millie had to put a hand over her mouth to muffle the sound of her gagging. 

Normally, Blitzo would’ve told them to suck it up and stay focused. But even he had to admit that he wasn’t expecting this to be on the other side of the portal.

Maybe bringing gas masks would’ve been a good idea. And some rubber gloves. Actually, they should’ve just gone all in and brought the suits they wore during body disposal. 

The trio awkwardly made their way through the minefield of garbage and headed for the door.

There was a weird ‘shlick’ noise and Blitzo and Moxxie looked around for a second to see where it came from before their gaze settled on Millie. Moxxie’s wife was stark white all of a sudden and they could faintly see one of her eyelids start to twitch. 

Under her foot was a dirty black sock with something sticky on it.

Something that looked like phlegm. Blitzo could feel his breakfast start forcing its way up his throat. Moxxie’s face was a rictus of horror.

Millie was starting to hyperventilate. 

“Honey, please, keep it together,” Moxxie said as he tried to make his way over to her and calm her down. 

But it was too late. Millie’s mouth opened wide and she started screaming bloody murder.

The door was flung open and a blurry form entered the room, smacking Millie on the forehead with something and knocking her out almost instantly. Moxxie brought out his crossbow and was about to say something to the intruder when he too was knocked unconscious. Blitzo had his pistol out by this point but the figure had moved away from Moxxie by then.

“It’s so rare that I have visitors these days.” an oily voice said behind him.

That was the last thing Blitzo heard before something smacked him on the head, causing darkness to engulf his vision.

Meanwhile,

IMP HQ

Octavia took another sip of her coffee while reviewing the spreadsheet she put together. All the payments from the past three months were in the system, though she still needed to go through the bank statements to see which portions of the money were put where.

She’d long since tuned out the sound of her coworker’s texting. Or at least it sounded like she was texting. She could’ve been on Voxtagram for all Octavia knew.

Her thoughts stayed on Loona for a bit. Octavia thought back to some of her visits to Stylish Occult and could remember seeing Hellhounds patronizing the store. She didn’t remember seeing one that looked like Loona though, at least not at that moment.

By the time Octavia got out of her head, she noticed something odd. The room seemed oddly silent. And it didn’t seem to be just her who noticed. Loona’s ears pricked up and she looked around the room in confusion.

“You hear something?” she asked then grimaced. “Fuck, something might be up with the vents.” 

The Hellhound got out of her chair and pushed it over to the nearby air vent. 

Then Octavia started to hear it. Some faint whispering sound coming from nearby. She strained to pin down where the sound was coming from.

It wasn’t coming from the vent. It was coming from the office entrance. Octavia slowly made her way over to Loona and tapped her on the shoulder then pointed near the door. Loona’s lips pulled back in a snarl and she crossed the room in seconds, flinging the door open with Octavia staying right next to her.

There was the sound of frantic footsteps heading for the elevator nearby. 

The area near the door smelled like flop sweat. Just like Eugene did. Octavia felt a chill run down her back.

How long was that freak waiting near the door? Was he waiting for someone to come out? Or a chance to come in?

“Blitzo and the other have to be doing better than we are.” Loona muttered.

An hour later,

Brendan’s House,

Moxxie groaned as his eyes fluttered open. The room around him was still blurry. He tried getting up but something was keeping his legs from moving. He shook his head and looked down to see that there was some thick rope around his torso and legs. 

He gasped when he turned to his right. Millie was in a similar condition, but she still seemed to be out cold. He turned around to his left. Blitzo seemed to be waking up already, though he didn’t seem to be fully aware of their surroundings yet.

Great, this was turning into a repeat of the mission to kill Martha’s family.

“Your kind seems to recover quickly, I’ll give you that,” a nearby voice quipped. Moxxie looked up and found the source within seconds, with Blitzo following suit.

Sitting in front of the three, seated in a brown leather chair, was their target. Brendan was dressed in the same getup as what he wore in his photo and leered at the three with a self assured smile. At his left side was the book the IMP crew needed to get back to Hell. The group’s weapons were right next to it.

“I must admit,” said the neckbeard as he put tobacco in a pipe, ‘your very existence puts me in a very awkward position. On the one hand, it is proof that there are other planes of existence out there. Worlds beyond this one that is so overrun by normies.”

Brendan gestured to himself in an over dramatic fashion after taking a deep puff from the pipe.

“On the other hand, it means that I, a disciple of Dawkins*, must admit that one of my belief systems has been proven wrong. And I do not like that.”

His smile widened.

“I also have to admit that I didn’t expect my ‘relief sock’ to be such a good intruder alarm.” 

There was a moan to Moxxie’s right. Millie seemed to be regaining consciousness and was shaking her head as she did so.

“Mox,” she said weakly, “what happened?”

“Our target got the drop on us.” Blitzo answered with a grimace. “And you stepped on his spank sock.”

The she-imp let out a whimper. As powerful as his rage was, his wife’s demeanor cut him deep. As soon as they made it back to Hell, he was going to make a few calls. Millie was going to need therapy.

“Target?” Brendan asked as he cocked his head. He soon started rubbing a finger against the five-a-clock shadow on his chin. “Yes. I suppose that makes sense. I doubt that you’d be here simply to steal. Unless you’ve come for my soul or what have you.”

“Like that’d have any real value.” Moxxie replied. 

“But the question remains as to who sent you. While I may have ruffled a fair amount of feathers, I’m not sure who’d hate me enough to want me dead.”

“Really now?” Moxxie asked. “Think back a bit. You’re an intellectual aren’t you?” He filled that last sentence to the brim with sarcasm. Brendan steepled his fingers and gave a deep ‘hmm.’ Millie seemed to have fully gathered herself and was looking at the two other imps. It was clear she wanted to find out if either of them had a plan.

Brendan’s face turned from one of contemplation to one of confusion.

“Eugene? He hated me so much that sent you after me?”

“He thinks you’re gonna be the guy who inherits his minions.” Millie said groggily.

“Your arrival does coincide with the timeframe of his death. I take it he paid you already?”

"Not yet." Moxxie replied. "And given what you put us through, we should ask for a bonus." Brendan went back to stroking his chin in contemplation.

"Interesting. Very interesting."

Meanwhile, 

If Octavia wasn’t sure that Eugene was hanging around the office before, she was sure now. The breathing noise started up again and when Loona furiously threw the doors open, she said she could smell the weirdo’s funk near the front doors. 

There was a knock at the door and before Loona could get up and throw it open, presumably to chew out their client, Octavia beat her to it. Sure enough, Eugene was standing on the other side of the door. He seemed surprised both to see Octavia answering and that she reacted quicker than he could run off again.

“What do you want?” Octavia asked in a low growl. Eugene fidgeted awkwardly for a moment before tipping his fedora.

“Ah. H-hello again. I-I must say that it’s reassuring to see you answering the door instead of your less refined coworker.” His comment prompted Loona to give him the finger with both hands. 

“What the fuck do you want?” asked Octavia.

“Pardon me for saying, miss, but it is unbecoming to hear foul language coming from a woman as refined as you.”

Octavia could feel her feathers bristle with anger.

“I apologize for disturbing you and your co-worker. I had something I wanted to ask you but I couldn’t work up the nerve to say it. I had to make myself scarce when your Hellhound friend investigated lest you suspect I was up to something worse than I actually was.”

“Yeah, and for whatever reason, you decided to wait for us to be alone before asking. So what is it you wanted to ask me? What is it that would prompt you to camp outside of our office like some wannabe stalker?”

“Would...would you go out with me this evening?”

Octavia blinked in surprise, Eugene’s words repeating in her head. Loona’s saw almost punched through the floor.

“I’m a man with high standards.” Eugene said. “And your voice is enough to tell me that you are a woman of class and refinement. I’d be honored to have you as my date this evening.”

Octavia felt like her brain was glitching out. The sheer audacity of what he said was making formulating a response impossible. She’d been flirted with before, both in school and while out in public, but she didn’t have much issue maintaining composure then. 

And then it happened. The appropriate, socially acceptable and refined response came to mind.”

“Absolutely fucking not!”

“But...but...but why?”

“Why? You want me to tell you why? Well how’s about your strategy for asking me out in the first place, which seems to require you to wait for two girls to be alone for you to even attempt! All the while huffing like an athsmatic!” She pointed at her co-worker.

“And by the way, Loona pretty much figured out it was you making the noises in a matter of minutes! We didn’t even need to see you bolting from the door to know that! You couldn’t come off as more of a fucking creep if you tried!”

“Maybe you should’ve gone home and showered before bringing your fat ass back here.” Loona added. 

“And then there’s the fact that you seem to blatantly look down on any woman who doesn’t meet your standards for ‘refined!’ And what else comes to mind?! I seem to be forgetting something!” She snapped her finger and faked a look of sudden realization.

“Oh wait a minute, I got it! It’s the fact you’re such an arrogant control freak that you’d rather have someone killed than risk them taking over what again? Your little gathering of weirdos?”

“Get this through that lump of lard you call a brain! I will never go out with someone as egotistical, petty, misogynistic and profoundly repulsive as you! The next time you come back, it’d better be with the fucking check!”

Before Eugene could say another word, she slammed the door shut and plopped into her chair, taking deep breaths to try and calm herself down. There was the sound of slight shuffling from the other side of the door and a few seconds later, they heard heavy footfalls on the stairwell.

“Damn girl,” Loona said with a grin, “you went full Gordon Ramsey on his fat ass.”

“I had...I had no other choice.” Octavia said, still trying to catch her breath.

“Hey. I get it. Some guys are so thick you gotta hit em on the head with a hammer for the message to get through.”

“You think that Blitzo’s...gonna chew me out for that?”

“Not after he hears what that messed up dough ball put us through. Don’t worry, I’ll back you up. If it’ll help, your lunch is gonna be on me today.”

“Thank you.”

Meanwhile,

Brendan’s House

“I would like to make a proposition.” Brendan said, shifting in his chair.

Blitzo was about to shout something at him but Moxxie froze before slightly headbutting his boss. The larger Imp turned to him in anger but Moxxie gestured toward Brendan, prompting Blitzo to face him.

“I’m listening.”

“I will kill Eugene for you and let you take the check.”

The trio looked at each other, stunned.

“What, you mean like we knock him out, bring him here and you off him?” Millie asked. Brendan shook his head.

“Other way around.”

The room was dead silent for a moment. Then the three imps burst out laughing.

“You want us to take you to Hell?” Blitzo asked, trying to gulp down lungfuls of air. “You want us to take you to our office, our home, and call Eugene over so you can kill him?”

“Eugene was right, you are brazen!” Millie said between giggles. Moxxie didn’t say anything, being too overcome with laughter. 

Brendan’s brow furrowed.

“I think that you’re forgetting that I have your only way home and your only means of self defense. I have all the leverage.”

The imps stopped laughing, all three of them suddenly realizing that their captor wasn’t bluffing.

“I’m...open to negotiations.” Blitzo said softly.

A few minutes later,

IMP headquarters,

Octavia exhaled in relief. Some of the papers she was missing were in another one of the desk’s drawers. Now she just needed to input the data and that’d be another month’s worth of IMPs financials logged.

“You’ve had guys talk to you like that before?” Loona asked.

“A few times in high school. One guy said he’d be happy to ‘ruffle my feathers’ during my last year there. But none of the guys who tried getting in my pants were that delusional.”

Loona was about to respond when both girls jumped out of their seats as the office door shook with a resounding thud. It sounded like someone was swinging a baseball bat into the door. Before either of them could brace it, the door fell off its hinges.

Eugene stood in the doorway with his face scrunched up in rage. Octavia had to squint to see the piece of paper in his hand, eyes widening when she realized what it was. The check for the hit Eugene called on Brendan. 

“You don’t deserve this. Not you, not your tramp of a co-worker, or your boss.” He pulled out a lighter and flicked it on.

“This is what you get! This is what you get when you spit in the faces of gentlemen like me!” He then brought the check close to the flame. But before he could burn it, a circular portal appeared in the middle of the room and Blitzo, Milly and Moxxie jumped out along with someone looking suspiciously like their target.

Eugene pointed at Brendan and the word “you” slithered out of his mouth. Brendan smiled and Blitzo pointed at Eugene.

“Ice him, ya fucking dweeb!” 

Eugene glared at the man who he believed sought to usurp his authority.

“You’ll take my place as a Reddit admin over my cold, dead, body!” Brendan just smiled and pulled out Blitzo’s pistol, firing three shots at Eugene. His aim was terrible, with only one shot out of the three hitting its mark. But it was the only shot he needed. Eugene was sporting a hole in the middle of his forehead before he could even react and both the check and lighter fell out of his hands. Loona grabbed the check while Octavia scooped up the lighter. 

“Blitzo, what the fuck’s going on?!” Loona asked. Blitzo groaned and pinched his nose.

“I’ll tell you after I’ve had a good stiff drink. Or twenty.” Brendan kicked Eugene’s corpse a little after giving Blitzo his gun back.

“What do you propose we do with him?”

“M&M, get some thick gloves on. We’re gonna drop this sucker in the dumpster. Loona, Octavia, you too.”

Their ‘guest’ moved over to the nearby window.

“So this Hell. It looks much more...mundane than I thought it would be. Homeless people, office buildings.” He smiled. “And yet, I feel that there’s so much more it can offer. So much more excitement.” 

Blitzo looked to his subordinates and grinned before turning back to Brendon.

“Oh, so you think you’ll fit in, don’t you? Here, I’ll help you with the intake process.”

“Your assistance would be greatly apprecia-wait wha-” Brendan turned around to see the barrel of Blitzo’s pistol in his face, which discharged half a second later.

The rest of the IMP staff stared at Blitzo wide eyed as their boss fully opened the window and pushed Brendan’s corpse out and into the waiting dumpster below. He seemed confused by the fact that what he just did absolutely stunned them.

“What?” Blitzo asked, shrugging his shoulders. “He can’t exactly just move in while he’s still human. C’mon, we gotta cut up lardo and put him in too before the afternoon dump truck arrives.”

That night,

Stolas’s Manor

“Hello, my little owlette!” Stolas said with his arms spread out in welcome.

“Hi, dad.” she replied shakily.

“Is something the matter? Was work difficult today?”

“Not difficult. Just very, very strange.”

Stolas sniffed the air and clutched his beak.

“Dear, why do you smell like sweat, blood, cheese dust, and self loathing?”

“Believe me, dad, I intend to remedy that! Right before dinner, I’m going to take five showers and a hot bath!”

Readers notes:

1\. I had to! I'm sorry! That joke in "Spring Broken" was nothing short of perfection! *Sobs* I'm nothing but a hack!

2\. Richard Dawkins of “The God Delusion” for those of you wondering.


	5. Out on the town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loona becomes rattled by a dream involving her new coworker! Meanwhile, Moxxie brings his wife to a therapist in order to help her heal after her experience at Brendan' house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before we begin, I have good news, friends. The amount of Loona/Octavia fanart is increasing. But it’s still far below what it should be. We demand more. More for our perverse hunger! More!

Loona plucked the olive out of her drink and flicked it into her mouth. After swallowing it, she gulped down a bit of what was in the glass. She grinned as she picked up on the tastes. A Weekend in Venice Martini with a splash of A+ blood. Pure perfection. She looked out the window. As disgusting as Imp City could be at times, it still looked marvelous at night. Especially from Loona’s perch. The city’s light shone like jewels.

Wait. Since when did she get a penthouse?

There was a knock at the door and before the Hellhound could realize what was going on she grunted ‘c’mon in.’

She turned around see who it was that wanted to enter, her eyes growing to the size of tennis balls when her visitor entered the room. 

Octavia was wearing a maid outfit. Or rather, a fetishized version of one. She wore knee high stockings with her bare feet and talons clicking when she walked. The corset portion looked like something from an S&M store.

  
After all, it did expose Octavia’s bare chest and the black hearts over her nipples.

Loona couldn’t say she’d spent too much time ogling Octavia’s boobs, though if she had to guess IMP’s new accountant was B-cup at most. The vision in front of her had a pair of double Cs no doubt. Around her neck was a frilly collar. 

“Good evening, mistress.” said Octavia. “I take it you enjoyed your little appetizer?”

Loona was speechless as Octavia walked over to the recliner she sat in. As shocking as her outfit was, what she said threw Loona for even more of a loop.

‘Mistress.’

Loona didn’t have any problems with being in control during sex. If Blitzo didn’t give her a job at IMP, she could see herself working as a dominatrix and making pretty decent money off of it. She could see the position of dominance as being one that’d be to her liking.

But that word coming out of Octavia’s mouth was something else entirely. The fact alone that it came from a girl with royal blood in her hit like a brick to the skull. 

Loona would’ve been a massive liar if she said that it didn’t get her motor running.

Before she knew it, the Goetia girl was looking down at her with a loving expression. 

“Well, I hope you’re ready for the main course.” She started lowering herself on Loona. The Hellhound was too stunned to move.

_She’s straddling me. Dear sweet Lucifer, she’s straddling me._

The owl girl’s eyes locked into Loona’s crop top, a hungry grin on her face.

“We won’t be needing this, now will we?”

At that point, Loona’s muscle memory kicked and she had her hands on Octavia’s bottom. Her tail began wagging as well. The owl-demon let out a sharp ‘oh’ as Loona’s claws started pinching her butt.

“My, aren’t we frisky this evening?”

Loona’s heart stopped when she felt her nipples being pinched. When she opened her eyes, Octavia’s face was inches away from hers, eyes closed and pulling her in for a kiss. Something that Loona was having a great deal of difficulty with trying to find the desire to resist.

Loona shot out of bed and sucked down as much air as she could. She looked at her alarm clock and growled.

7:15 am. She usually woke up an hour earlier than that.

Thank fuck it was a saturday. Otherwise Blitzo would’ve shaken her while screaming. She lurched out of bed and made her way to the kitchen.

“Hey Loonie,” Blitzo said, pouring himself some coffee. Loona just grunted as she walked in.

“It sounded like you were having quite a bit of fun in there.”

“Shut it, Blitzo.” Blitzo grinned.

“Lemme guess, Vortex paid you a visit in dreamland? Got your tail wagging?”

She turned and snarled at him. Blitzo shrugged.

“What? I just wanna know who you might be bringing home, and how loud things might get in-”

Loona grabbed him by the collar and raised him until Blitzo was at eye level with her.

“Get this through your thick, thick skull. Who I sleep with is none of your business. At all. Do I joke about you having to pork Octavia’s dad just so we can get our means of going to the living world? Just so we can do our fucking job?”

Blitzo shook his head.

“Good. Now the next time you joke about me having wet dreams, I’ll figure out where Verosika is and I’ll tell her about how puffy you got before you had to go on a diet.”

“Alright, alright! Just put me down!”

Loona sighed and lowered her adoptive father to the ground, heading over to the fridge to get breakfast, settling on cheese covered fingers.

An hour later,

Doctor Sargassi’s office, IMP City

Moxxie put an arm around his wife while the therapist was looking over something at his desk. The appointment was arranged just yesterday afternoon, but Moxxie wanted Millie to talk to a professional as soon as possible. The green skinned demon then looked back at them.

“You said that your boss killed Brendan. Are you worried that he might come back at some point? Given his behavior, I’d imagine he’d wind up down here sooner rather than later.” 

Moxxie sighed. 

“I’m really not sure. What we were going to do with him after what he saw was still a mystery to me. He’d learned that demons and hell were both real. I’ve no idea what he would’ve done with that knowledge or that Blitzo would kill him off.”

  
“Our boss can be...unpredictable at times.” Millie added.

“I guess what really matters is if he holds as much of a grudge against us as he would Blitzo,” Moxxie said. 

“Did either of you or your boss have a plan for what to do with Brendan once he finished his business in Hell?”

The couple shook their heads.

“He had all the cards,” Moxxie said matter of factly. “Our weapons, our portal book. He might’ve had an inflated sense of his own intellect but he was spot on in believing he had all the power in that situation.”

“We just had to go along and hope for the best.” said Millie. 

“Millie, I would like for you to document any nightmares you may have. Write down everything you can, and if you don’t feel comfortable discussing it with me, that’s entirely up to you. But during our next meeting, I’d like to hear anything you want to share about any such dreams.”

Sargassi turned to Moxxie.

“What happened at that house doesn’t reflect poorly on you as a husband. In fact, the speed with which you sought to find help for Millie says the complete opposite. Be proud of that.”

“I-I...thank you.”

“Lastly, I’d like to recommend that the two of you refrain from sexual activity until we have a solid trajectory for Millie’s recovery. The experience she went through can interfere with your sex life. Cuddling, kissing and things like that are fine but I’d avoid more intense intimate activity until we know we’re out of the woods.”

A little later,

Stylish Occult

Loona leaned in a bit closer to the mirror. She still wasn’t sure if she was going to get the tank top she had on. Seemed a bit bigger than she thought.

She decided to spend the day out on the town.

Anything to get that dream out of her head. 

Though to be fair, Octavia’d stand out quite a bit from the usual blockheads she had one night stands with. Her family’s status aside, Loona was willing to bet that Octavia hadn’t had sex before. She wouldn’t have the misplaced confidence in her abilities that some of her past partners had.

Wait. Why was she even considering this? Octavia was an acquaintance, a possible friend. Probably the only person at the office who hadn’t gotten on her nerves. 

She groaned and stepped out of the changing room, turning out the idle chatter of the other shoppers. All around her were demons of countless sorts all wearing some kind of gothic clothing or accessories.

“That new taxidermy book? Do you know when it’s coming in?” 

That voice made her stop in her tracks. No way. No fucking way.

Her newest co-worker was near the cash register speaking to Delphus. 

_It’s OK. She hasn’t seen me. I can just put the jacket on one of the tables, slip out and come back later. I can go to the park for a-_

“Hey Loon, you want me to ring up that jacket?” 

_Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!_

The owl-girl she was trying to avoid turned and cocked her head. 

“”Loona? You come here too?”

The hellhound grimaced like she was sucking on a lemon then turned to her with a forced smile.

“Oh hi Octavia! I forgot that I needed to get a new comb so I was gonna head out for a few minutes!”

She wasn’t sure the owl-girl bought what she said. Probably not. The slow way Octavia said ‘alright then’ did nothing to alleviate her fears. The Hellhound scratched her head as Octavia talked to the cashier, slowly looking at the ground Delphus shrugged and kept speaking to her. 

Loona headed out into the street, her face burning up. What the fuck kind of excuse was that?

“Hey, Loona? You alright?” Octavia asked in a shaky voice behind her. Loona turned around to see the young Goetia looking at her with slight worry on her face. The Hellhound felt like she didn’t have it in her to flat out lie.

“I’m...I’m sorry, I’ve just been having a weird day so far.”

Octavia looked down for a second, scratching at her beanie.

“I’m going to a bookstore near here to see if they have what I was looking for. You can come with me if you want.”

Loona couldn’t figure out a reason to say no that wouldn’t clue Octavia in about her dream the previous night or sound disingenuous. So she just replied with ‘sure’ and followed her.

Meanwhile,

Moxie and Millie were on their way back to their apartment when they spotted a pair of familiar faces sitting at a table outside the Damnation Donuts and Coffee, a man and a woman.

The she-demon was the first one they recognized. Violet skin and horns, grey hair, black scrunchie. Her eyes were blood red.

The man with her was a demon with deep red skin, a thick neck and an Ohio sports jersey. Moxxie squinted. Wasn’t this the guy who was in their infomercial*?

“Mrs. Mayberry?” asked Millie. “Grady?”

The demoness turned and slightly recoiled before smiling. Grady looked a bit shocked to see the two then let out a deep belly laugh.

“Hey! Been a long time since I saw you two!” said the red skinned demon. 

“Business going good?” Mrs. Mayberry asked.

Millie nodded with an exuberant smile. “Yep, no shortage of dumbfucks to put in the ground!”

Moxxie was happy to see them, but a bit weirded out too. 

“How did you two meet up? Wait, are you gonna be here for a while?” Moxxie asked. Mayberry smiled and gestured to some chairs nearby.

“Order something then get back here. Believe me, we’ve got time.”

A few minutes later,

Mrs. Mayberry stirred a spoon in her coffee cup as she started talking.

“I was lost for a while after you offed Martha for me. I went on more than a few job interviews but I decided to focus on getting a teaching position.”

She laughed a little.

“I guess my personality didn’t completely turn to shit after arriving here. Even though I got stuck with all the Hitlers and Epsteins of the world, I still loved the idea of teaching kids, seeing them learn over time. I applied for a job at Malphas Elementary and they called back a few days later saying they wanted me. I thought I couldn’t be happier*.”

She turned to smile at Grady, rubbing his thigh with one of her legs.

“Till I met this charming meathead at an art crawl browsing the stained glass.”

“It’s an underappreciated medium,” Grady replied. “This little number and I started talking art for a while. Three days later, we had our first date at a Mexican place near the gym he runs.”

“Imagine my surprise when we realized we both hired you when we needed troubleshooters! And for similar targets!”

Millie laughed.

“Happy we helped bring you two together! Ya don’t need to pay us for that though!”

“I hope not.” Grady as he slapped Moxxie on the back, causing him to faceplant into the table.

“Oh shit.” the red demon said with concern. The two girls looked at Moxxie and recoiled.

It looked like Moxxie would be out for a bit.

A little while later,

Gutted Buddha Chinese Bistro,

Loona cut open the potsticker with one of her claws, a fried eyeball looking back at her. Octavia was taking one last look over the menu.

Before coming to the restaurant, Octavia brought her to a hole in the wall bookstore called “Papa Legba’s Reading Room,” run by a spindly man with a burlap sack on his head and a noose around his neck. The bookstore itself looked like something out of a haunted house, but not to the level of being cliche. Over long reading tables were candle holders that were supposed to light up when night fell. Armchairs soft enough to sink into were positioned near the walls. A small coffee shop was in another corner of the shop, though you needed to have a receipt to bring a book into it.

Loona thought that Octavia took her to what might be her newest hangout after work. She even had a new tome in her purse, a collection of French gothic poetry.

She didn’t feel as nervous around Octavia as she did earlier, though her dream was still a very fresh memory. Loona definitely planned on avoiding any dishes made from birds while she was there. When she glanced at the description of ‘firecracker chicken’ she had the briefest vision of Octavia naked and sitting on a large platter blissfully covering herself in oil. 

She didn’t intend to have Octavia as a fuckbuddy.

But as a friend? That definitely sounded good. As did the ginger ribs.

Readers notes:

  1. I know that having her come back might be a bit weird but hear me out. The most defining negative trait Mrs. Mayberry had after coming to Hell was wanting Martha dead. It seemed to be that she’d mellow out after the job was done and that she’d still have a soft spot for kids. As for why Grady or “Ohio Demon’ is there, I found the idea of them hooking up hilarious given that they both hired IMP to get rid of unfaithful spouses.



Usually this would be where I end things off, but I wanted to give you guys something extra this time around. I know Helluva Boss is really popular right now but I never imagined how much enjoyment you guys would get from this. In order to show my appreciation for your support and well meaning criticism, I present to you a sneak peak of one of the sex scenes between Octavia and Loona. 

More will follow soon enough.

****************************************

Octavia started cackling as she savored the Hellhounds tongue on her stomach. Loona was stunned with how much her back arched. This chick could buck like a horse if she was feeling it.

“Come on! Give me more of that slobber, that you filthy, filthy whore!”

Loona grinned evilly.

“Feeling a bit demanding are we? All it takes for you to think you can give me orders is the fact that today's your birthday?”

  
"Are you kidding me?! After what I did for you when I was bottom last time?! You'd better let me grab those puppy feeders of yours, I've fucking earned it!"

The Hellhound's grin widened.

"Puppy feeders? So you're just a bit more imaginative than some of the other blockheads I've screwed."

She cupped her bare breasts in her hands and smirked.

"I suppose I could let you play with my girls. Though I doubt you'll be satisfied for long just squeezing them."

There was perverted gleam in the Goetia girl's eyes.

"Oh believe me, preening you's good enough. Seeing that tail wag and hearing that rumble in your throat when you're hot and bothered is even better. But Satan help me, when I figure out how to get you to make that sweet, sweet nectar without needing to put a bun in your oven, I'll be a very happy girl."

Loona's jaw dropped and she burst out laughing.

"You're just as much of a fucking freak as your dad!" Octavia started cackling again and raised her arms.

"I am! I admit and I embrace it!" 

Unbeknownst to them, Blitzo had come back to the apartment, heard what was going on and was now looking for any alcohol strong enough to be used as Mind Bleach.


	6. IMP in NYC

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octavia has her first mission in the city that never sleeps! Meanwhile, Moxxie tries something unorthodox in order to help his wife recover from their ordeal in the neckbeard nest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this chapter seems a bit rushed. I've got exams coming in my social work classes so I'm not sure when or if I'll update next week. I wanted to put this chapter out when I had the chance before I got bogged down.

The next day,

IMP Office

The group’s newest client was a sinner by the name of Lorenzo Desilva, a blue skinned man with bright green eyes and ram horns.

“Big city real-estate is already not a game for the faint of heart.” Lorenzo said, gulping down his coffee. “But real-estate in NYC is something else. It demands nothing short of cold bloodedness. You need to be the kind of person whose heart pumps ice water to make it to the top.”

“You gotta be the kind of person to send your rival a hooker and hold it over his head?” Loona asked absentmindedly.

“That’s just one of many tools in the box, but sure. Ever since the Mercer Group went under last October, their properties were just waiting to be grabbed up. A tower in the Bronx, a five star hotel in Chinatown, and a conference center on the east river. We were on the path to grabbing them all. We even had a young up and coming agent who was helping put together our legal plan of attack. Guy by the name of Marco Sandoval”

“But he stabbed you in the back.” Blitzo said. Lorenzo sneered.

“The two timing fuck was working for one of our competetors. Leaked everything. He recorded every call, bcc’d our rivals on every email chain, gave away everything.”

“Let me guess, then he put a bullet in you?”Octavia asked. Lorenzo shook his head.

“I had a few too many drinks at Roberto’s, I stumbled into traffic, I got pancaked by a semi.”

Loona snickered. Lorenzo didn’t seem to let it bother him.

“There’s one more bit. Marco had a yo-yo on him wherever he went. Blue and silver. He took it to the office, he took it to business lunches, everywhere I can think of. You get me that fuckin’ thing, you get paid double.”

“You’d better have the cash to make good on that.” Octavia said matter of factly. The sinner opened up his wallet and showed her two checks, both showing the price of a regular hit on a single person. He looked around the office.

“My apologies if I’m putting my nose where it doesn’t belong but is it just me, or does your office seem a tad understaffed?”

Blitzo became terse. Moxxie and Millie were taking some time off. The aftermath of what occurred at Brendan’s house had been heavily detrimental to Millie’s ability to function. Her reaction to anyone’s sex jokes was one of tense unease as well. 

“Two of our employees are on leave.” Octavia answered. Lorenzo didn’t press any further, simply providing information on where Marco lived as well as places he frequented and left.

“Get ready, girls.” Blitzo said with a grin. “We’re going to the Big Apple!”

Octavia felt butterflies in her stomach. She’d never been in the human world before. New York was a place she’d only heard of in movies that made their way down to Hell and what she’d seen online. She’d heard of its towers that reached for a blue sky, its rough people and the temple to Mammon that went by the name “New York Stock Exchange.”

She could hardly wait to see it for herself.

Moxxie and Millie’s apartment,

“Honey?” Moxxie asked shakily, his hand tightening around the grocery bag. “Are you ok?”

“Mox?” a shuddering voice asked. “I’m...fine.”

He opened the door and his heart sank into his stomach. Millie was still in her nightgown, her hair was a mess and she was red eyed from crying.

“Millie, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” she said glumly. He knew she was lying.

“Millie, whatever it is that’s making you upset, I won’t judge you for it. Please.”

Millie hiccuped.

“I...I had a nightmare. You and I were banging and all of a sudden you stopped talking like yourself. When you talked, that-that freak’s voice came out!”

Moxxie was never one to buy into what was ‘manly’ and what wasn’t. Not usually. But despite what their therapist said, he still felt like a loser for letting Millie reach this point.

His wife was afraid they’d never be able to be intimate with each other again and he was helpless to do anything about it.

Well, not entirely helpless.

There was one thing she loved that Moxxie was usually somewhat hesitant about. But it never failed to make Millie happy. Not once. It never failed to put her in the mood.

Moxie tightened his fist.

If it would help his wife get over this hump and no longer be haunted by what happened at Brendan’s house, he’d do it. The embarrassment would be nothing compared to the pain of seeing his wife continue to suffer. 

He just needed to get a few things before he was ready.

Meanwhile, 

Brooklyn, New York City

The IMP crew materialized in a flash of red light behind a tenement block. Loona was in a much similar disguise to the one she had during her last trip to the human world, though one more suited for winter weather.

Blitzo now resembled a well dressed and well groomed Latino in his late twenties to early thirties with occasional splotches of lighter skin tone where his spots usually would’ve been. He was decked out in a black suit with a red tie as well.

Loona raised an eyebrow when she saw Octavia’s human form. Octavia looked like an asian girl in her early twenties with black hair, hazel eyes and a yankees cap. Her clothes were more or less the same as the ones she wore in Hell as well.

“Alright,” Loona said, pulling out her phone. “Our target should be having an off day today and be hanging around somewhere near here, either having lunch at an Italian restaurant or cruising for prostitutes.”

“That...wasn’t in the briefing.” Octavia said uneasily.

Marco was digging into a sandwich when his phone rang.  
  


“What’s he saying?” Blitzo asked. Loona didn’t answer.

“He’s going to an appointment or something. It’s earlier than he expected but he doesn’t seem too mad about it.”

Marco got up and started heading for a nearby alleyway, prompting the group to follow him.

If they could catch him while he was alone, the job was as good as done.

Meanwhile,

Lounge, Goetia Manor

“They know.” Stella said sternly.

Stolis closed his book and looked to his wife.

“Context please?”

“Some of my friends. They know what Octavia’s up too.”

Stolis cocked his head.

“And how, pray tell, did they figure that out?”

“Malba’s daughter Ralzi found Octavia’s Voxtagram page. There was a status on it about being hired to work for that Imp you’re so hung up on.”

Stolis chuckled.

“And Ralzi felt so horrified that she ran to tell mommy, did she?”

Stolas extended his arms in an over-exaggerated shrug.

“So some of the empty headed twits our daughter went to school with found out what she’s doing? What are they, upset that she’s not joining them for their endless yacht trips? Is the absence of her presence at the high end bars they frequent really bumming them out so much?” 

Stella huffed.

“Do you not understand what could come of this, Stolis? They’ll tell their parents that our daughter is hanging around Imp City and is taking orders from people they consider lower on Hell’s totem pole.”

Stolis felt it wiser to not imply that Stella was part of the group holding that opinion of Imps.

“And the next time they see us, they’re going to ask us questions that will be very, very difficult to answer. They’re going to ask what our daughter intends to do after her time working for Blitzo ends.”

“We’ll tell them the truth Stella. We’ll tell them that such a decision is up to Octavia and no one else. What business is it of theirs to poke into what Octavia wants to do? I’ll never understand this attitude the upper class seems to have where if one’s kids do anything out of the norm, it’s a green light for them to stick their noses into our business.”

Stella’s brow furrowed. 

“You’re right Stolis, you don’t understand. You never understood that when you have the kind of status that we do, our children don’t need to do much to draw unwanted attention to themselves and their families. And how hard it is to shake off that attention.”

Without another word, she strolled out of the room, leaving Stolis to his book.

A few minutes later,

The IMP trio followed Marco through the alleyway and into what looked like the overgrown garden section of some run down apartment complex. It became pretty clear that he wasn’t heading to a business meeting. He checked behind him on the way there too many times for that to be the case.

Upon arriving at the garden, Marco was met by four muscular men in denim jackets and with pistols on their belts.

Marco was talking to the gruff looking dudes. Instead of being intimidated, he seemed pleased to see them. 

This time, they could all hear what was being said even from behind the hedge they were using for cover.

“We’ve got the address of that lawyer working for Ben Ray Realty.” one of the guys said. “The one who was giving you trouble over the ice-skating rink in Central Park.”

“Didja start watching him?” Marco asked.

“Yeah, and we already found something we can squeeze him for. He’s got a taste for pure China White*.”

Marco sighed.

“If I had a dollar for every drugged up lawyer in this city I wouldn’t need this job. Good job. Get footage of him bringing the stuff into his house. Snapshots of him using it would be even better.

“Did Lorenzo say anything about Marco hanging around people like that?” Blitzo asked Loona. The Hellhound shook her head, just as confused as Blitzo. It looked like Marco wasn't just willing to infiltrate his competitors to get an edge. He was willing to use gangsters if he felt it necessary.

When the meeting concluded, Marco headed back toward the hedge the IMP crew were hiding near, his yo-yo out from his front pocket and spinning in his hand. The gangsters headed in the opposite direction. 

“Do it quick, do it quiet,” he whispered to the girls. 

Octavia shifted out of her disguise and brought out her butterfly knife just as Loona turned back into her true form. They both possessed their demonic appearances by the time Marco came into range.

Marco didn’t even have time to scream before Octavia plunged her knife into his spine and Loona sunk her teeth into his neck.

His yo-yo hit the ground before his corpse did. Loona grinned at Octavia, blood covering her teeth.

“Nice knife work. Between that and your stoner vision, you shouldn’t have any trouble at some of the places I hang out at.”

Octavia laughed.

“Stoner vision? What, do I lock eyes with someone and all of a sudden they’re on shrooms?”

“I don’t fucking know.”

Blitzo snapped his fingers. 

“Grab the yo-yo and let's get out of here.”

The Hellhound grinned and plucked it from the ground as Blitzo reopened the portal to Hell.

“Wait, can’t we stay a little longer?” Loona asked. “We could wash the blood off, go for a bit of a jaunt.”

Blitzo stared at her for a moment before closing the portal. 

“Wash yourselves off good and quick. Then we’ll hit up a few places.

Four hours later,

IMP Office

“We iced Marco.” Blitzo said, lighting the cigar he got from Grand Havana. Octavia had to laugh at how much he looked like a stereotypical mob boss.

“And his little toy?” their client asked.

“Right here,” Loona replied. Lorenzo had a beaming smile when she slapped the yo-yo into his open hand.

“I will spread word of your phenomenal services far and wide.” he said as he gave Octavia both checks and slowly regarded his new toy.

“Thank you kindly.” she said, putting them on her desk.

Lorenzo played with the yo-yo a bit but couldn’t pull off any tricks.

“Ah, it’s good enough as a trophy. I hope you enjoy your bounties from the greatest city in the world.”

That evening, 

  
Bedroom, Moxxie and Millie’s apartment

Millie was doing her best to lose herself in a Ned Kripford novel when there was a knock at the door.

“Honey?” Moxxie asked, “Can I come in?”

“S-sure.” 

The door creaked open, and what she saw took her breath away. All of a sudden, her nightmare and the ordeal at Brendan’s was as far from her mind as they could possibly get.

Moxxie walked into the room, decked out in face-paint, a rainbow afro, a cherry red nose, an oversized red tie and clown shoes. 

He was wearing ‘that’ outfit. The one that he did on their wedding night.

“M-M-Moxxie?”

“Yes?”

  
“You’r...you’re doin’ this for me?”

Her husband smirked suggestively.

“Damn right baby. Wanna go to the Big Top?” 

Tears started welling up in her eyes and she screamed “yes!” She grabbed him by arm and pulled him onto the bed. She was kissing him on the lips before he could even say anything.

The next morning,

“I’ll never understand what that outfit does for you.” Moxxie said, exhausted but happy. “But if it helps you heal, I honestly can’t give a fuck.”

Millie smiled.

“I always liked clowns when I was a kid. But when puberty kicked in, it mixed with some pretty weird stuff. When I was sixteen or so I started having dreams about having sex with em. First it was just one, then it turned into threesomes and before I knew it, I was dreaming about being on my back in a clown car doing a gangbang.”

Moxxie smiled evilly.

“So if I sprayed you in the face with one of those squirt flowers, what’d happen?”

“Honey, it’ll be soak city down here.” she said pointing at her groin.

“I need to remember that.” 

Millie kissed him on the lips.

“I hit the jackpot when I met you, sugar. I really did.”

“Same here, honey.”

Readers notes:

  1. China White is the name of a highly potent Heroin substitute made from Fentanyl




	7. Story Route 1

Hey people, hope you're doing good. For any of my readers living in Texas, I hope that you and your loved ones are all right. The Lone Star State was dealing with the snowstorm from hell when I first started writing this story.

This chapter's gonna be a bit unusual in that it's going to center around sharing some ideas with you. As the title says, this is going to concern possible ways the current story can develop. Currently, I have two such ideas under consideration but I wanted to give you the one that's more complete first.

Don't worry, the next story chapter is coming soon. As in, by Thursday.

Please note that what I describe to you won't be set in stone. I may reevaluate them at a later time and tweak things a bit or go a different route entirely. I'd appreciate any comments you have about either route.

INDUSTRY TITAN ROUTE:

Octavia would come to realize that her work at IMP isn't just her job, it's the key to finalizing her independence from her family and Hell's upper class. But the degree to which she can secure her freedom is dependent on IMP's fortunes. So she starts taking a more active role in helping IMP grow however she can, either by aiding them in getting high paying contracts, making connections that could help the company become more powerful or other means. 

In this timeline, the story would end with IMP becoming one of the market leaders in the hitman industry. The company would be renowned throughout Hell. Blitzo would still be the CEO but there would be a few changes too. Millie would be in charge of training new recruits with Moxxie joining in when not too busy with office work. Octavia herself would be Head of Finance while Loona would oversee target acquisition and dispatch. 

Plot-points in this route would include the following:

  * IMP would later come to own the whole building they operate in, not just their part of it due to their growth. So everyone would more or less have their own office. However, they would change location again at the end of the story and have one of the "massive, fuck off HQ buildings" that their predecessors had. To give you an idea of what the place would look like, search for an image of "Metalocalypse Mordhaus” and then picture it in the show’s art style.
  * I'm thinking about having some of Verosika's crew join on due to being sick of how she treats them. Some of them can end up being a 'sub-unit' that specializes in using seduction as a tool for killing. As for whether or not Vortex would join, I’m not sure. It depends on if Verosika does something bad enough to warrant the Hellhound leaving her service.
  * There would be a member of the IMP crew handling its social media accounts. I'm not sure if this role would be filled by one of Octavia's friends from high school (one of the few other students who weren't entirely full of themselves) or some of the ‘refugees’ from Verosika’s crew.
  * Octavia and Loona would be a married couple during the epilogue and have a trio of Hellhound pups that are either adopted or born through artificial insemination. They would show up during a 'bring your child to work day' and be hanging around the children of the other employees. I'm pretty sure M&M would have a kid or two at this point as well.
  * Octavia’s problems with her family would’ve been put to rest and Stella would be immensely proud of what she’s accomplished by the time the story ends, seeing that Octavia had actually done more for the family than she ever could if she just took over from Stolas. The young Goetia finds out that she can do much more in a boardroom than a throne room. One of Octavia's cousin would take over running the Goetia family after Stolas steps down.
  * At one point, Stolas would visit the office and drop off a picture of Octavia as a little girl that Millie would absolutely lose it over. Even Loona wouldn’t be able to resist the cuteness and she'd tell Octavia that if a girl like Octavia's younger self ran up to her whilst being chased by somebody, there would be nothing left of the pursuer but bloody smears by the time she finished with them. This discussion pushes Loona into realizing that she was wrong to assume that her shitty childhood (on which I will expand) killed any maternal instincts she had. 
  * The IMP crew would receive a mission to kill the head pastor of a megachurch with global influence, but Octavia and Millie would be captured and hypnotized into doing the head pastor’s bidding until they’re rescued by the others. While under his control, the two give him all the information regarding their mission and serve as his bodyguards. For ‘compensation’ the IMP crew loots the head pastor’s office and sells what they can back in Hell after killing him.
  * A screwup during a ritual carried out by a student at a private high school results in Moxxie, Loona and Octavia being brought to Earth. Through a series of unfortunate coincidences, mishaps and general shenanigans, the entire student body becomes part of a satanic cult by the time the three escape back to Hell. This would be revisited when the cult, dubbed the "Church of the Black Gospel," begins converting others in the town where the school is located and might soon begin attracting the attention of government authorities. By the time the story route ends, the cult will have expanded and converted an entire American city. And yes, I'm including the churches, synagogues, mosques etc. Hell's rulers decide to keep the city standing as it could become a future asset.



Please note that there is no guarantee that either this or the other route will be followed exactly as they are presented. I cannot tell you in advance whether or not elements of both would be mixed and if so which ones. 

  
  



	8. Mayday! Mayday! Mayday!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blitzo's ex returns to Imp City, prompting Loona to acknowledge some uncomfortable truths about her former crush.

Octavia was putting a good deal of effort towards trying to understand an unusual development. 

The image of Loona splashed with Marco’s blood was starting to flash into her mind a number of times during the weekend. Sometimes it was at random, but it popped up in more vivid detail whenever she saw something in a book or show that had suggestive undertones. When she had dinner with her family Friday night and a plate of medium rare steak was put in front of her, she practically had to inhale the thing so she could run back to her room and relieve some ‘tension.’

She liked how well they worked bringing Marco down. Her father was impressed by how well the two worked in tandem, having been told about the mission from Blitzo. Stella, a little bit less, but she was at least satisfied with the fact Octavia succeeded in her first mission in the human world.

She couldn’t tell her parents about this. Not yet. Her father might overreact and do something to embarrass her. As for her mother, that was going to lead to no end of problems. She wasn’t going to tell the Goetia matriarch about anything having to do with Loona unless she had no other choice.

On the bright side, Millie seemed to have made a full recovery and was back to her normal, bubbly self. Though both she and Moxxie were reluctant to say as to how her state of mind made a drastic improvement so quickly. The only hint was Loona complaining that they smelled like sweat and facepaint.

This prompted Millie to make her way to Loona and try pushing the Hellhound’s nose into her armpit. 

“C’mon Loonie, breath it in! Ya might even mellow out a bit!”

“Moxxie, get your whore off me before I tear in half!” 

Octavia laughed a bit, but she was still a bit worried about the two bumping into Blitzo and throwing him off his driving.

When they got to the parking lot, Blitzo began sniffing the air and scowling.

“There’s the scent of bitch on the air.” he said. “The scent of bitch mixed with cheap cosmetics, crack and the back room of a strip club.”

“Goddamnit Millie,” Loona said to the female imp, “now I smell like you and your noodle dicked husband.”

Before Millie could retort, a smug voice from behind them spoke up.

“Wow. I always knew you were a bit of a freak but that takes it to a whole new level.”

Standing at the other end of the parking lot were a group of devils and a muscular male Hellhound that wouldn’t look out of place in a biker bar if he were human. The woman who spoke had pink skin, a pink fur coat and a black and white dress decorated with x’s and o’s. Octavia faintly noticed how Loona froze upon seeing the Hellhound, who waved at her and smiled.

“Sup Loona?”

Loona gave a very shaky smile back.

“Hey Vortex.” Octavia blinked in surprise. IMP’s receptionist was acting more like a nervous high school girl with a crush than the temperamental young woman she was familiar with.

“Hello again, Blitzo.” the lead figure said, emphasizing the ‘o’ in Blitzo.

Octavia’d seen that face before. She was briefly transported back to Belphegor Academy, to that moment in time where half the lunkheads were talking about a certain pop star. A moment in time where half the female population of the school were drooling over some of that pop star’s entourage. Octavia could also confirm that more than a few conversations in the girl’s locker room concerned wet dreams about the boys in said pop star’s crew. 

Those conversations made her almost take up drinking in order to dull the pain from constantly cringing while hearing them.

To her surprise, Blitzo grinned manically.

“Mayday! So sorry to see you again, I was really enjoying not hearing your shrill voice. Though I’m surprised your throat’s not raspy as fuck from all the cocks you’ve been ramming down it!”

Octavia turned to her coworkers.

“How does Blitzo know her?”

“They used to date.” Loona said.

“No seriously, how do they know each other?” 

“Seriously. She’s his ex.” Millie replied.

"How...what the fuck did she see in him?"

  
“I’ll tell you once I’ve figured that out myself.” Moxxie said shakily. He was trying his best to stay out of sight of Verosika’s group for some reason, being half hidden behind the IMP van.

But it was to no avail. Verosika grinned as she looked in Moxxie’s direction, leaning forward slightly and putting her hands on her knees.

“Aww, why’re you hiding, stud muffin?” Her voice dripped with hunger.

“C’mon Mox-Man, we don’t bite.” one of the guys in her crew added.

“I have a good amount of experience to the contrary, thank you.” Moxxie replied. Loona snorted derisively and Blitzo slapped his knee laughing.

“Stud muffin? This guy? Either you're joking or your collective case of syphilis has gotten to all your brains!”

Verosika brushed some of her hair out of her eyes and grinned.

“You never knew what girls liked, Blitzo. It’s why you sucked so much as a boyfriend.” 

“Short, neurotic and dorky is the new sexy.” one of the girls in her crew said, licking her lips. 

"Not to mention that sweet-ass bow tie." one of the guys added.

“Oh I know that.” Millie said sternly. “It’s why I married him.” 

Verosika and the other devils in her crew looked at Millie in surprise. One of the male devils whistled.

“Way to be ahead of the curb.” Verosika said. If Octavia wasn’t mishearing, the popstar actually sounded a bit impressed. She then turned to Octavia.

“And what’re you doing hanging around this absolute chode?” Verosika asked.

“He’s my boss.” Octavia replied flatly. 

“Really? I didn’t see you before what happened in Miami*, so I’m guessing you’re new.”

Verosika leaned a little closer. Octavia felt like a wave of perfume washed over her as Verosika got within a few inches of her face.

“Wait a second, I’ve seen you before. Octavia Goetia?”

Octavia blanched.

“H-how did you…”

“I follow your dad on Voxtagram. You show up in a fair number of his posts. More than a few of them show you as a kid.”

“I’ll have to tell him to be more careful of what he puts on there.” Octavia grumbled.

“Why’re you working for this fuck up? You’re loaded. You could afford to have me perform at your high school grad party if you wanted.”

Octavia bristled. 

“You’re not my style. And as for why I’m working for him, I’m trying to build myself a skillset.”

“Whatever. Word of advice, ditch him. He’s a shitty boss and a shitty lover.”

“More like you just have horrible standards!” Blitzo shot back.

“Really? Cause if I remember the last time we banged, I faked five climaxes out of the seven!”

“Oh, I know. I did the same. And while we’re on the subject of the past, what happened to you and your STD riddled crew after we left?” The entire group scowled or showed similar expressions of anger.

“We got arrested right after you and your pals left!” one of the girls yelled. “We thought our only way of getting away was giving the cops a good time, but it didn’t work!”

“We did it and still got locked up.” one of the guys added. “We didn’t have any ID, nobody posted bail for us, so we were stuck in jail!”

The IMP crew started sniggering, though Loona’s seemed half hearted. Blitzo on the other seemed about to burst with laughter.

Verosika grit her teeth as she glared at her ex.

“Keep your fucking trap shut.” she growled.

As if in defiance of her demand, Blitzo sucked in a single, large, lungful of air.

Meanwhile, 

Hazbin Hotel dining room,

Alastor savored the aroma of his chamomile tea as he flipped through the newspaper, his eyes brightening when he saw the news from the human world. This ‘coronavirus pandemic’ was still a real hoot. Global economy cratered, over half a million dead in the US alone, civil unrest.

Ah, it was the good old days all over again!

“You hear that, boss?” Niffty asked. Alastor turned towards the open window and cupped his hand around his ear. Sure enough, it sounded like someone was laughing their head off. 

Alastor grinned.

“My, my, my! Sounds like someone’s enjoying themselves this fine morning!”

Alastor turned to the hotel’s overly-energetic housekeeper and held out the teapot.

“More for you?”

“Yep!” 

Meanwhile, 

Back at the parking lot

Octavia was getting slightly concerned for her boss. His mirth aside, the shapes he was bending himself into were becoming more and more elaborate and painful looking. He was going to break something if he wasn’t careful. But he soon jumped to his feet and wiped the tears of laughter from his eyes.

“I’d have given all the money I had to see that!” Verosika’s crew with the exception of Vortex all grimaced.

“Oh believe me, you not being there was the only good thing about that whole fucking ordeal!” 

“Listen, Blitzo. You might have your precious parking space, but that’s it. We’re not moving our studio. We’re gonna be neighbors, so you better fucking get used to it!”

“I can live with that so long as you and your buddies keep their mitts off my husband!” Millie yelled.

“Later, Loona.” the Hellhound said with a wave of his hand. Loona blushed and shakily returned the gesture. Blitzo smiled evilly.

“You’re not going anywhere? I think I can fix that.”

Half an hour later,

IMP HQ meeting room

Blitzo slammed his hand on the whiteboard and gestured to the crudely drawn illustrations.

“Any questions?” 

Millie’s husband raised his hand.

“What’s a ‘cunt seeking missile*’ and where are we gonna get one?” Moxxie asked with blatant scepticism. 

“Moxxie, do you have to spoil every good idea that comes your way?”

“And assuming we do, how are we going to get something that big ready for launch without Verosika or one of her crew noticing?” Octavia asked. “I mean, according to the drawing, we’re going to launch it from the roof.”

Loona shifted around in her seat uneasily. Blitzo glanced at her and shrugged.

“And before you ask Loona, we’ll try and get your crush out of the building before launch. We’ll pull a rescue op or something.”

Loona winced and looked like she was about to yell something but she wilted at the last moment.

"He's not my...he's nothing to me anymore." she said dejectedly. Octavia felt a jolt of sadness seeing Loona's ears droop as she spoke.

Noon,

Nero's Italian

"That Hellhound with Verosika. He's not nothing to you."

Loona slowly raised her head up before shaking it.

"You're gonna keep quiet about what I tell you. Understand?" Octavia nodded.

"I've been trying to get over him for a while. We met right before that mission to Miami. I didn't think of myself as being a 'love at first sight' kind of girl but..."

"What did you find attractive about him?"

"Everything. He hot, friendly and damn good fighter. Even during the mission, I couldn't get him out of my head. I tried talking to him but Blitzo interrupted and I got angrier than I felt in who knows how long. I told him he wasn't my dad and other things that I take back."

Loona's grip tightened on her cup of soda.

"I felt like I got hit in the gut with a lead weight when he mentioned his girlfriend."

"If he asked you if you wanted to go with him and the rest of Verosika's crew, what would you've said?" Octavia instantly came to regret the question seeing the pinpricks of tears in Loona's eyes.

"I think...I think I'd have said yes. That I'd have gone anywhere with him. If I didn't snap myself out of that love struck daze and if was single, I...I..."

Octavia pulled Loona into a hug and patted her on the back.

"Go ahead. I'll tell no-one."

Loona shuddered. 

"You p-promise?"

"My beak is sealed."

Loona took a deep breath.

"I can...I can think of a few things I might've done with him by now if I went with them. And I can think of what it would've done to Blitzo. I think I'd have gone with Vortex without looking back even once."

Loona took a deep gulp from her drink to calm herself.

"Now, looking back on it, I'm so glad I didn't."

Octavia smiled faintly.

"And I'm glad you didn't either."

Loona's ears perked up, making Octavia shiver.

"Thank you." 

Meanwhile,

sound editing room, Verosika's studio

Verosika bit her lip as she went over the audio levels of the most recent recording session while Vortex leaned against the wall looking at his phone. The group's little jaunt into the Human World and the aftermath of it took up a lot of the time they originally intended to use perfecting the "Candy Shop" album. If they didn't deliver before the deadline the record label insisted on, Verosika was going to lose a lot of her privileges. But despite the flurry with which she streamlined the recording, there was something on her mind.

“Blitzo’s Hellhound still seems taken with you.”

“She knows I have a girlfriend." Vortex said flatly. "She’ll give up on me eventually.”

“Pity. Her crush could’ve been quite a valuable asset.”

Vortex narrowed his eyes.

  
“Meaning what?”

Verosika grinned.

“A woman’s heart is a musical instrument, Vortex. You got your girlfriend because you put together a good enough melody with hers. If you play Loona’s heart well enough, the sky’s the limit. There's no telling what she'll do or tell you if you asked nicely enough.”

Vortex’s lips curled back in a snarl. Before Verosika knew what was going on, he turned off the audio mixing panel. Verosika shot out of her chair and glared at him.

“What the fuck, Vortex?!” The Hellhound leaned in until their noses were almost touching.

“Listen to me and listen good. My job is to keep you safe from deranged fans and weirdos. That’s all. I know what you’re suggesting and I ain’t gonna do it.”

Verosika struggled to maintain her composure.

“All it takes is one word for me and you’re out of a job, furball.”

“I can leave on my own terms. Your beef with Blitzo’s none of my business so long as he doesn’t take a swing at you. But I’m not gonna manipulate some girls feelings in order for you to get payback. If you piss me off enough to make me wanna walk out the door and not come back, there's nothing you or the rest of your crew can do to stop me. You saw what I did in that police station and to half the Miami PD. You know I'm not bluffing. Remember that talk we had when we finally got back to Hell? The one we had about knowing your limits?”

Verosika nodded slowly.

"I do."

"Make sure you remember. Because you got very close to overstepping your boundaries. I'll forget about this for now. But if you ever suggest that again, I'll go right to Blitzo and I'll tell him everything. Am I clear?"

Verosika hated to admit when she was beaten, but nothing Vortex told her was an empty threat. She knew he had too strong of a conscious to manipulate Loona in the way she suggested. She also knew her powers didn't work on him.

"Perfectly, Vortex."

"Good."

Readers notes:

  1. I chose Miami as the possible setting for “Spring Broken” because it’s the first place that comes to my mind when someone says Spring Break. But given that we don’t know where the beach in the episode was located, I’m willing to admit that it could be anywhere for all I know.



2\. This is an evolution of Blitzo's original plan to put the corpses of the people killed during their mission on a boat called the S.S. Cum Cutter and sinking it.


	9. Quick Heads Up

I'd like to say something before the chapter goes up. No, nothing bad happened but it bears mentioning. I just saw Episode 4 earlier today and I see a lot of potential with having both the Cherubs and L&L (Loopty Goopty and Lyle Lipton) show up. But that being said, I'm unsure as to how I'm going to work the events of the episode into this story given the fact Octavia wasn't in the episode. When I began writing "The New Temp" I imagined it taking place a few weeks after the events of "Spring Broken." As of this moment, I do not know of a workaround for this dilemma that isn't something like Octavia having the day off or being sick being the reason she doesn't show up. 

I would appreciate any advice you can give me regarding this. I want to put L&L and the Cherubs in but I'm not entirely sure how to make it work. Again, I had written most of the next chapter before "C.H.E'.R.U.B" dropped. So when you read the next chapter, please keep in mind that within this headcanon the events of episode 4 haven't technically happened yet. There will be references to it in the chapter following the next one that may or may not include the Cherubs.

Or the frankly horrendous amount of property damage done to the IMP office over the course of the episode. Good fucking god, it's like a lot of rich devils think that using the door is somehow below them! 

Oh great. Now I'm tempted to have Octavia give that a try for shits and giggles.


	10. Loona's haunts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having no more work to do for the day and not wanting to simply wait for the main trio to come back, Loona hits up some of the locations she frequents with Octavia in tow! Meanwhile, Blitzo, Moxxie and Millie go up against a very special breed of scum!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that the antagonists I chose for this chapter might be cheap shots. But I'd be lying if I said seeing these sorts of people getting wrecked wasn't immensely satisfying.

The atmosphere in the part of town where IMP operated underwent a significant shift after Verosika's crew returned. Things felt a bit more tense when she looked in the direction of where the recording studio was. She felt on edge whenever she saw a member of Verosika's crew walking the streets and made an effort to avoid them whenever they could.

The very next morning, Blitzo laid down a rule that Moxxie was not to leave the building on his own. IMP's CEO gave a detailed account of what happened the last time Verosika's crew caught Moxxie alone and he wasn't going to let them get a second chance if he could help it. If he or one of the other staff had to bite the bullet, they would. Given the kind of things Verosika's crew intended to do to Moxxie before being interrupted, Octavia didn’t see the task as an inconvenience. 

The client that came in that morning, Patrick, was a treasure hunter stiffed by his partner Sloane after the two of them found a lost cache of Nazi gold in South America. The gold would belong to IMP if they succeeded as well as any other artifacts they found. This time, she and Loona would be staying back at the office.

Loona’s body language became agitated about a half hour after the three Imps left. 

“That’s it. That’s fucking it. I’m going.”

“Going where?” Octavia asked uneasily.

“There’s a few hangouts I hit up when work gets done early and I don’t feel like sitting on my ass in the office waiting for Blitzo and the two chucklefucks to get back.”

“You wrapped up all the work you needed to do right? You can come if you want.”

“R-really? Y-you mean that?”

“That bookstore you took me to was pretty fucking lit. It’s only right that I show you a few of my haunts.”

Octavia leaned back in her chair and looked at the spreadsheets on her computer. All the money they’d earned over the previous few weeks was logged.

“Won’t we get in trouble?”

Loona laughed.

“If you finish early, just leave a note. Blitzo ain’t gonna hit the roof.”

Octavia took a quick peek around the corner to where Verosika’s studio was. Her eyesore of a car was in the parking lot but she didn’t see any of her gang around. Loona picked up on what Octavia was doing and sniffed the air.

“They’re all inside, I think.”

“Good. Still, I think it’d be a good idea if we didn’t go too far away.”

“Ya think they’re gonna try breaking in?”

“I dunno. But apart from Vortex I don’t trust any of those chucklefucks any more than the airheaded morons from my high school. Except I’m not sure my classmates had half the STDs Verosika’s little gang’ve probably got.”

Loona’s face twitched slightly. Crap. She’d hit a sore spot.

“You-know-who being exempt of course,” she said in a desperate attempt to walk back her last statement. Octavia was starting to fear that her slip-up was going to result in Loona leaving her behind and going on her own.

Meanwhile, 

Outside the American Aryan Legion meeting hall, near Chicago

“That’s our guy,” Blitzo said with a grin as he zoomed in the binoculars. He handed them over to Moxxie.

“Sir, shouldn’t we wait for him to leave the hall? He’s got...a lot of skinheads around him. And a lot of them look like they use steroids.”

Millie took the binoculars and stuck out her tongue in disgust. 

“They’re so...veiny.”

“Moxx, are we gonna have a repeat of what happened at  _ her  _ place?” Blitzo asked. Moxxie was struggling to find some way to respond. 

“Millie, do me a favor. Take a look at what they’ve got as decorations and tell me what you see?”

“Big swastika banner hanging from the rafters, a few posters saying ‘race war now’ and a whole lot of Nazi and Klan flags.”

“Now tell me Moxxie, who’s gonna shed a tear over the sort of assholes who decorate like that?”

Moxxie thought back to the attack on Martha’s house and how what he saw in their dining room window made him want to tell Blitzo he was on his own.

But what his wife said about the kind of people gathering in the hall stirred nothing even remotely resembling those feelings of unease.

“Nobody whatsoever sir.” 

“Glad to hear it. Now get your game face on, we got a party to crash.”

Inside the hall, their target bowed and gestured to a large crate on the floor. At the same moment, Wagner’s “Ride of the Valkyries” played on a pair of speakers.

“Brothers” the group’s leader yelled “our trophies have been returned to us! The spoils taken by our Nordic forefathers in the anti-Communist, anti-Zionist struggle are back in the hands of their rightful owners!”

The audience all cheered.

“This is just the beginning, my brothers!” Sloane said. “The contents of this box shall help us on the path to returning the natural order to the world! It shall help us create an infallible empire ruled by those pure of blood and dedicated to upholding the values of the white nation!”

Sloane was just about to salute the audience with a nazi salute when the door came down and the three Imps came inside. The skinheads looked at the three in shock. Well, most of them. One of them turned to an associate and pointed at the three.

“Conner, your demon summoning worked! Your Black Sun project worked!”

“Now now now fellas,” Blitzo said with a grin, “I get that a few of you are happy to see us. But the truth is…”

He took out his rifle at the same time Moxxie and Millie brought their weapons out, an assault rifle for Moxxie and a sledgehammer for Millie.

“You really shouldn’t be.”

By the time the meeting’s attendees realized what was happening, Blitzo and Moxxie had already dropped four of them and Millie started batting heads off.

And by the time the neo-nazi’s brought their pistols out, seven of them were already dead.

All while “Ride of the Valkyries” played in the background.

Meanwhile,

Choir of Nails Music Store, IMP City

Octavia took a deep breath and lost herself in the sound of Chophouse’s “Praise the Pestilence.” The vocals had all the qualities she liked, the drums had that perfect reverb effect and the electric guitar didn’t have that weird buzzing sound that made her grit her teeth.

Loona grinned.    
  
“Whaddya think?”

Octavia smiled back.

“I think I’m gonna be taking this with me. And I also think I’ve got another band to look into.” 

She turned to one of the employees, an Imp with lip piercings and a shaved head.

“Got any stuff from “Barbed Wire Spiderweb?”

“Yes ma’am,” he replied in a dry, burnt voice. “But we aren’t gonna have their new album till next week.”

Octavia shrugged. Fair enough. The store was already a good enough treasure trove. Loona told her that she hit the place up three or four times a month to see what new albums they had. She didn’t take part in any of the music discussion groups that met up but most of the staff knew her by name.

Octavia was starting to suspect that despite Loona’s surly demeanor, she never went out of her way to hassle anyone she didn’t see as deserving of it.

It put the Hellhound head and shoulders above the assholes Octavia used to half to deal with.

Meanwhile,

A wood road near Chicago,

Sloan’s foot was practically glued to the gas pedal as he raced into the city, one eye always on the rear view mirror. Those...things were too busy killing off the meeting attendees to stop him from making a break for his car and hightailing it with the box of gold bars in his trunk.

There was a sharp crack, followed by a loud popping. His car dropped lower and became much more difficult to steer.

One of his tires was blown out. The car swerved into a nearby tree, crumpling the front of the car and triggering the airbag just in time for him to avoid hitting his head right on the steering wheel and breaking his head open.

The door to his side was wrenched off its hinges and he found himself facing the three demons that tore through the people in the meeting hall. The entire trio was drenched with blood from the massacre he escaped. Sloane reached for his pistol but the shorter male of the group shot him in the shoulder, causing him to drop the gun. All the air in Sloan’s lungs went into the scream of pain that he let out.

“Why?” he asked the tallest devil. “Why kill my associates? Why hunt me?”

“Cause you stiffed one of your buddies and he wants ya’ gone.” the female devil replied in place of her boss. She had a bemused smile and a Southern accent as thick as molasses. That voice tugged at his heartstrings. He’d had some good time with girls down in Dixie during previous engagements with white nationalists. They knew how to treat a guy right.

“But there’s so little separating my fellows and I from your kind.” he said in a strained voice. The three demons looked at him either perplexed or with suppressed laughter. 

“Both of us...we’re creatures of passion. You enjoyed what you did to my associates. I saw that glee on your faces.” 

“And how the fuck does that lump us in with you?” the shorter male asked.

“My brothers in arms...we put our passion into making the world a better one for our people. Our folk. We want to rid of the parasites that keep us from building the society our white heritage demands of us.”

The three devils looked to each other and laughed, their howls echoing through the forest. The female devil walked up to him and curled her finger under his chin.

“Ya wanna know why we’re not the same, hon?”

"What?" Sloan growled.

“Our kind? We’ve got standards.”

In a flash of motion, she had her hands clasped around the sides of his head and the last thing he heard before the all encompassing darkness engulfed his vision was a deep cracking noise.

Meanwhile,

Blast Furnace, Imp City

Octavia took a deep bite out of her burger, taking in the decor around her and Loona. The bar/restaurant itself was located in what was once an ironworks. Metal music played on large speakers, but not too loud to talk. The walls were bare red brick, license plates and other signs were bolted near each booth. Some of the custom drinks had names like “Elbow Grease,” “Slag Chute,” and “the Foreman Killer.” 

Octavia very much approved. It was just the perfect contrast to the overly-stuffy affairs her mother dragged her to for the sake of appearances. 

Even better, the food here actually looked like food instead of some weird art decorations! She’d ordered a burger called “the welding torch,” while Loona was digging into some ribs.

It would’ve been perfect if not for the sinner in biker garb that decided to saunter over to them and leer.

“Hey, Lassie,” he said with a crooked smile. “Wanna have some fun in the doghouse?”

“Fuck off.” Loona replied. The man leered over Loona’s shoulder.

“C’mon, baby, give me a chance.”

“Seth, get the fuck back to your stool!” shouted the bartender. “You’re on thin ice already!”

Seth turned back to the bartender and growled something unintelligible before sauntering off.

“Does that happen to you much, here?”

“Every once in a while, but they aren’t as lucid as that guy was.”

An hour later,

The two left the Blast Furnace and were on their way back to the office when both of them heard rapid footsteps. Turning to face the source, they were greeted by the sight of Seth bounding at them from a nearby alley. He already had Loona in an armbar by the time Octavia fully processed what just happened.

“You don’t just brush off a guy like me, bitch.” he snarled. “I think it’s time someone taught you your pla-”

Loona cut him off with an elbow to the ribs, following up by dropping the heel of her shoe into his ankle. She took his left arm and started twisting it to the point where the angle didn’t look at all natural.

“How about I play teacher?” she growled.

Seth screamed in pain as Loona bent his arm further and further. The Hellhound was too busy to notice the gleam of hunger in Octavia’s eyes as she watched the spectacle. 

_ Break him  _ she thought. _ Make him suffer for his arrogance. For thinking he was worthy of laying a hand on you. _

Octavia licked her lips as Seth’s arm began making louder and louder cracking sounds

_ Punish him!  _

Within seconds, Octavia got her wish. The squelching sound that accompanied Seths arm being torn in half was music to her ears. The hot black liquid sprayed onto Loona like water from a showerhead, with some of the splash landing on Octavia’s shirt and face.

Strangely enough, she didn’t find it too troublesome.

“Sorry about the mess.” Loona said flatly. “It’s the first time someone’s tried to jump me on my way out of here. C’mon, let’s get washed off.”

Octavia simply nodded and followed Loona to somewhere they could get the blood off, being only semi-aware of the spring in her step as she followed the Hellhound.

_ Meanwhile,  _

IMP office

“Fuck that was fun!” Blitzo said with a smile. He and M&M were caked in blood from what went down in the meeting hall and the car chase. The box containing the gold materialized along with them.

They were briefly surprised to see that neither Loona or Octavia were present but their tension vanished when Blitzo saw the note on Loona’s desk.

Blitzo’s phone started screaming, souring his mood instantly.

“Hello, Blitzie.”Blitzo shivered. He could feel the owl-demon’s voice coiling around him like a snake that wanted to force its way into his mouth.

“Whaddaya want?”

“I only wish to give you my thanks for letting Octavia have a job at your company.. She was so miserable before she went to you.”

“I’m happy to hear you say that but could you take some of the silkiness out of your voice? It sounds like you’re trying to cover me in lube with a paintbrush.”

There was a sigh on the other end.

“Such a buzzkill, Blitzo.” 

“I find that knowing your turnoffs makes dealing with you more bearable. And before you say anything else, Octavia hasn’t let me down yet. She’s paid me back for hiring her more than once.”

“Glad to hear it.”

Later that night

Octavia’s bathroom, Goetia Manor

Octavia slightly sank into the bathwater, replaying the events of the day in her head. On her nightstand were four swastika-embossed gold bars given to her by Blitzo when he dropped her off at the house. Her mother was somewhat impressed with the gift, seemingly enough to avoid asking about what happened that day.

Dinner that evening was a bit strange. She felt positively ravenous but neither the steak or any of the side dishes seemed to make it decrease a single bit.

Octavia shuddered when she realized something. She was wondering why she felt such a bizarre thirst for the last few hours of the workday, why that evening’s meal didn’t seem to make a dent in the gnawing hunger she felt. And all of a sudden, it came to her.

She didn’t want to drink any of what was on the bar’s shelves or in the kegs.

She wanted to drink Seth’s blood. She wanted to lick it right off of Loona. 

It was Loona she was hungry for.

_ I’ll start with the tips of her claws. One by one. Then I’ll go to the scruff of her neck and savor her growling like a motorbike’s engine. I’m going to make those clawed toes curl with rapture. _

Octavia whimpered a little, taken aback by the salacious thoughts that came bubbling to the front of her mind.

_ Oh fuck, I’m turning into dad. _


End file.
